Anger Engine - 6

The connotation of anger is heat. Indeed, when angry, our body temperature increases and it becomes manifest on our faces. This state of ours, when explosively relieves itself, causes destructive results. Breaking things apart as such does not have to be the case, however. The same energy and power can be channeled to make permanent changes for the better.

In our study of anger towards God, we came to the point where we voluntarily decided to change things in ourselves. We started to work on a more direct and unmediated relationship with him. We were hoping to find, at last, peace with God and peace in our soul through such efforts. To our surprise, however, we realized that our All-Wise Guide wants us to do more and risk more! Why is it not enough for Him that we want to change ourselves?

There are several rays of wisdom shining from this enigma. First, God has different names and attributes, each having a different manifestation. Our state of anger towards Him, although forgivable through His mercy, requires a payment or a sacrifice as atonement. That is why we are pushed towards our limits, which may seem exacerbating the situation; but in fact, that state is a precursor to the peaceful days, as required by His compassion, mercy and generosity (2/214).

Second, the final word of God, Quran, is sent not as a library classic (25/30, 62/5) but as a genetic code to be brought alive through our deliberate and thoughtful actions (13/31, 59/21). Failing to do so is against the will of God. Therefore, He wants us to embrace the Quran wholly, and practice it even if it means going against the status quo, prejudices, social pressure or even if it means material loss (5/54). By pushing us to our limits in different aspects of life, several of them at the same time, the All-Wise Educator is ensuring that we are going to be obliged to explore the entire universe of the Quran. After all, it was us who had invited the tribulations by acting conservatively and risk-free by orbiting around the same, old planet (2/85).

Third, when we make a decision to change things in our selves, while crushed under the pressure of the unfortunate events, this is a reactionary state that is destined to fade by time. It does not warrant a permanent change (44/15). That is, even if we do things for a little while in the way pleasing to God, in the long run, as our feelings and anger sooth, we are likely to return to a robotic and conservative state, devoid of life and change. Quran is there to bring life to our relationship with God through His different names. So, our Lord pushes us to make irreversible changes both in ourselves and around us to cast a permanent improvement. He wants to ensure that we are not going to go back. Of course, He could do this using His infinite will and power, but that is against the notion of free will. So, our tolerant Lord prepares the grounds upon which we are going to take actions willfully. What those actions are depends on who we are and the circumstances we are in. We must read the Quran through the lens of the conditions surrounding us, which are likely to help us see the points that were previously invisible (50/22).

Fourth, if we are amidst unjust and unfair treatments, on one side it is us who must change, but on the other side, our environment must change, too. If God is telling us the signs of change through the tongue of misfortunes, He is also telling us by the same token to change things around ourselves as well. After all, justice and solidarity among people can not be established without healing the existing injustices. After all, the same mistakes are inevitable without changing the minds and paradigms. Ok but, how can you accomplish this daunting task, given that it is your failure thereof that has led to the tribulations and oppression crushing you?

This is where your faith goes into a challenge. If you do what is due to you and change yourself for the better, than on the other side of this contract is your Lord (2/40). He is the one to change what you are unable to. How He makes that happen is a matter of wonder. One thing is for sure, though. When He gives the reins to your hand in order for you to steer things towards the good, you must be ready for it. Realize that you cannot get ready for such mission if you don't get rid of the psychology of herd, if you cannot break free of slave mentality. You cannot prepare grand projects for the future, if your greatest ambitions are about recreating the past, which has been devastated by the Almighty. Looking into prosperous days requires you to trust in the power and will of your Merciful and Wise Lord, who is the cause of all causes.

So, the best time to make changes to ourselves is when we are angry and under pressure. It is also the best time to draft comprehensive plans to be  realized in the future. The readiness of those plans and your commitment thereof are not going to be wasted by the Exquisite Designer of the universe, who dislikes waste (6/95, 7/31). He is going to prepare not only the conditions but also the people so that you can achieve in short time what would be impossible for you otherwise.

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Relevant Quranic verses to the topic: 

Children of Israel, recall My favors which you enjoyed. Fulfill your covenant with Me and I shall fulfill Mine. Revere only Me. (2/40)

... So do you believe in part of the Scripture and disbelieve in part? Then what is the recompense for those who do that among you except disgrace in worldly life; and on the Day of Resurrection they will be sent back to the severest of punishment. And Allah is not unaware of what you do. (2/85)

Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near. (2/214)

And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, "Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?" (4/75)

O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah , witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what you do. (5/8)

O you who believe! Whoever of you reverts from his religion, (know that in his stead) Allah will bring a people whom He loves and who loves Him, humble toward believers, stern toward disbelievers, striving in the way of Allah, and not fearing the blame of any blamer. Such is the grace of Allah which He gives unto whom He wills. Allah is All-Embracing, All-Knowing. (5/54)

O believers, look after your own souls. He who is astray cannot hurt you, if you are rightly guided. Unto God shall you return, all together, and He will tell you what you were doing. (5/105)

Indeed We sent to nations before thee, and We seized them with misery and hardship that they might be humble; Then why, when Our punishment came to them, did they not humble themselves? But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing. Then, when they forgot that by which they had been reminded, We opened unto them the gates of all things till, even as they were rejoicing in that which they were given, We seized them unawares, and lo! they were dumbfounded. (6/42-44)

Surely Allah causes the grain and the stone to germinate; He brings forth the living from the dead and He is the bringer forth of the dead from the living; that is Allah! how are you then turned away. (6/95)

O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters. (7/31)

And if there was any qur'an by which the mountains would be removed or the earth would be broken apart or the dead would be made to speak, [it would be this Qur'an], ... (13/31)

And the Messenger cried out: O my Lord! surely my people have treated this Quran as a forsaken thing. (25/30)

And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good. (29/69)

We shall remove the torment for a while but you will revert to your old ways. (44/15)

Certainly you were heedless of it, but now We have removed from you your veil, so your sight today is sharp. (50/22)

Had We sent down this Quran on a mountain, you would surely have seen it humbling itself and rending asunder by the fear of Allah. Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect . (59/21)

The example of those who were entrusted with the Torah and then did not take it on is like that of a donkey who carries volumes [of books]. Wretched is the example of the people who deny the signs of Allah. And Allah does not guide the wrongdoing people. (62/5)

Anger Engine - 2

If the feeling of anger is a behavioral manifestation of our immune system to avoid losses and damage, it makes sense that we get angry towards the loved ones more quickly, because loving means putting down your shields against someone and letting them be close to you beyond others. Believing in God, in this context, is a major cause for anger, because you are submitting your entire being and making yourself vulnerable to an entity who can do anything with you (3/40,47) with eternal and infinite impunity (21/23).

Linking back to some of the points raised in the first episode, a believer's expectation of good things from God prepares the grounds for anger towards Him, when and if those expectations are not only not met but also crushed with the exact opposite of the expectation. Still, it is intriguing that God constantly admonishes and orients the believers to be expecting of good things from Him and strive for the realization of favors. On one side, it is God who wants to be known as the bountiful and merciful, and on the other side, it is again Him who is creating anger towards Himself. Why is He doing this?

Before anything else, let's see some Quranic verses related to the engendering of the mentioned expectations:

Say, "What would my Lord care for you if not for your supplication?" (25/77)

Or, Who answers the distressed one when he calls upon Him and removes the evil, and He will make you successors in the earth. (27/62)

And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." (40/60)

You will certainly ask Him for help. He will save you from hardship if He decides to do so and you will forget all about your gods." (6/41)

Call upon your Lord in humility and privately; (7/55)

And do not make mischief in the earth after its reformation, and call on Him fearing and hoping; surely the mercy of Allah is nigh to those who do good (to others).(7/56)

And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way. (2/186)

Say: Who is it that delivers you from the dangers of the land and the sea (when) you call upon Him (openly) humiliating yourselves, and in secret: (6/63)

Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, and be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me. O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient. (2/152-153)

Unto Him is the real prayer. Those unto whom they pray beside Allah respond to them not at all, save as (is the response to) one who stretches forth his hands toward water (asking) that it may come unto his mouth, and it will never reach it. The prayer of disbelievers goes (far) astray. (13/14)

Recall your Lord if you forget to do something. Say, "I hope that my Lord will provide me better guidance."(18/24)

So call not upon another god with Allah, lest you be of those who are punished. (26/213)

And He answers those who believe and do good deeds, and gives them more out of His grace; (42/26)

and whoever is careful of (his duty to) Allah, He will make for him an outlet, And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.(65/2-3)

At this point, it may be better to stop and recall your thoughts about the evil problem and "why God doesn't answer the prayers when and as asked". You may also make some outside reading, if you haven't done so, on these issues, because I am not going to do a discussion of those topics here. Rather, I want to keep my focus on the wisdom behind God's deliberate drive of individuals or humanity at large mad about Himself.

Of course, the One with infinite wisdom and knowledge and unbounded will power can design different paths of life for each individual. He can also guide people through innumerable ways towards what is pleasing to Him. And, being the ultimate judge on the judgment day, He can forgive or waive the things that we deem outrageous. In short, the first point to note here is that this is a subtle issue, in which we may not understand everything, or things may clarify much later. So, we have to accept that we may not have answers always to our guiding question.

In order to take a glance of the second point, think of these two situations and answer which one of them imply more love and belonging? First one is a case where person A is angry towards person B, but cannot voice it or prefers not to. Rather, person A shuts themselves towards person B. Second situation is again person A being angry towards person B, and voices their anger and frustration towards B, and B listens without echoing the same anger. Later on, person A and person B work out their relationship, and they reach an even stronger bonding.

It is clear in the above story that the lack of conflict in the appearance of the first case does not imply love and the presence of conflict in the latter does not imply lack of love. So, one has to admit the fact that they may go through situations in this life where their love and belonging may be put to test by means of "evil looking" events inducing anger towards God. Furthermore, one has to exercise their freedom of expression towards God. Of this needs to be done with the due respect. That is, addressing God when in public and addressing Him when in private requires different levels and kinds of respect. If you are angry, let it be known in private. If your soul is getting crushed, shout it from the depths of your heart, for it sure is heard. Perhaps this collapse of your mental and spiritual structures is among the aims attached by God to the calamity surrounding you.

"Letting go of anger toward God may not happen all at once. But each day, hand over your anger to Him. Thankfully we have a patient, kind-hearted God who can carry everything we bring to Him. Even our anger."

Adam Weber

Next, remember that anger narrows our focus to what is endangering us (89/16). It pushes us towards a destructive action. In the case of anger towards God, what can you destroy? God?

The only thing you can really destroy when you are angry with God is yourself. That includes your attitude towards God, i.e. your faith. And perhaps, this is exactly what is intended here! Shocking, as it may sound, attacking your faith actually can be part of the actions you were expected to take until then, but didn't. Let's dig in here.

If you were a person who didn't believe in God, you would get mad about people or things when you are faced with adversity. As your faith in God grows more authentic and stronger, you realize and feel the grasp and the control of God in life events, and so, it becomes increasingly harder for you to attribute the adversities to the people. You know for sure that God did not interfere with what happened or is happening! Fast forward, if you are eventually getting angry towards God in this situation, it is clear that you need a spiritual/mental "cardiac surgery". Given that God does not commit injustice (3/182, 8/51), there must be something wrong, which you are missing and which is driving you crazy. So what is it and why is it?

Three major candidates in this regard are listed below. As we later consider them one by one, you will see that they are very much interconnected.

1. your knowledge of God is incomplete and/or contains errors.
2. your perception of the events is incomplete and/or contains errors.
3. your knowledge of yourself is incomplete and/or contains errors.

Emotion Management - 1

Emotions are one of the elements that separate humans from machines. What transforms a piece of metal to a valuable memory is the emotions associated with it. What makes a human being special for us is the emotions we harbor for them. And what inspires a good lesson out of any experience is the emotions that are triggered by it. So, it is important to explore the emotions and learn to manage them, because they are part of the secret behind the fact that we are alive, conscious and are accountable for our actions.

You must have heard of time management, anger management, risk management, crisis management, perception management. How about emotion management? This is a concept that is newly emerging and gaining popularity due to its relation to how satisfied we are in anything we do or in life in general. I should say that I have a problem with this framework on emotions, because I think that emotions are not "an animal to be tamed and put into our service". Rather, I think that emotions belong to a larger picture that extends to infinity, where we are not necessarily the center of everything but where we are in relation to everything. The foremost of these relations is, of course, with our Creator, who equipped us with the emotions.

Reading through the Quran, you can come across with the situations where emotions are evident. In this first episode of "Emotion Management", we are going to start a journey through the Quran, during which we are going to see some examples and reflect upon them.

And if We give man a taste of mercy from Us and then We withdraw it from him, indeed, he is despairing and ungrateful. If after his hardship, We grant him a blessing, he grows proud and rejoicing and says, "All my hardships have gone". Except those who are patient and do good, they shall have forgiveness and a great reward. (11/9-11) 

But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me." And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me." (89/15-16)

Here, we see a person who, first, falls into despair due to hardship. Such despair, actually, stems from the subconscious supposition that "the good days are gone for ever". Depending on the depth and duration of the hardship, grief calls its twin-at-birth, i.e. anger. When not properly treated, grief triggers anger, which is originally aimed at destroying the cause of grief (see the story of prophet Moses in this context, 20/83-98). This is a psychological immune response for our well-being, but its uncontrolled action here is carrying its owner away from God. Remember that what exacerbates the situation is the magnitude and size of the misfortune, not in reality but, in our imagination. It is all about our expectations of the future. Just like getting angry towards your teacher, who is challenging you to improve yourself and thus destroying your comfort, is pointless, building mountains of imaginary losses when there is actually one or a few is irrational.

Our Sustainer wants us to see and stick to the reality, and He doesn't like despairing of Him. Then why did He create the link between grief and anger, which in turn creates complications on the way to Him? Yes, it is true that He created us and everything in us, but remember that He created us with a free will and with an auto-pilot. Our free will is the real us, but if we don't exercise our will in the proper way, then the auto-pilot kicks in to ensure our stability in existence. This is when the undesired results emerge. Plus, God clearly tells that He does not burden the humans with a load beyond their capacity (2/286), but sometimes the load may be more than what you are used to or greater than what you think you are capable of. In such cases, we humans may lean towards despair and rebellion as an auto-pilot reaction. Nevertheless in the long run, we are asked to take the reins of our free will and pull the stick up, as implied by the "forgiveness" mentioned in the above verses. Our merciful and compassionate God wants to see us and accompany us as we emerge from darkness to His light. And sometimes, He wants us to break the walls around us in order to open the way for other blessings.

Allah is the guardian of those who believe. He brings them out of the darkness into the light; and (as to) those who disbelieve, their guardians are the evil ones who take them out of the light into the darkness; they are the inmates of the fire, in it they shall abide. (2/257)

Returning to the above verses on human emotion in case of alternation of blessings and misfortunes, we are told that when God removes the restriction on the person, who has been hopeless and ungrateful until then, they go to the other extreme of "supposing everything will be fine for ever", a subconscious and irrational overgeneralization leading again to ungratefulness to the granter and sustainer of those blessings. So again, our Guide wants us to realize that neither the blessings nor the misfortunes occur on their own, nor are they unbounded. Everything takes place through a plan, and we are asked to trust our Supporter.

No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah , is easy. (57/22)

These same notions, and more, are depicted in other verses, too, where, for example, the person goes on subconsciously thinking that they receive blessings either because they are special or because they deserved them.

So when harm afflicts a man he calls upon Us; then, when We give him a favor from Us, he says: I have been given it only by means of knowledge. Nay, it is a trial, but most of them do not know. (39/49)

The notion of deserving the blessings and honors, i.e. self confidence, is a reflection of ego, and it also exhibits itself in "the acceptance of the great trust by humans", whereby they accept being tested by the free will:

“Indeed, we offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they declined to bear it and feared it; but man [undertook to] bear it. Indeed, he was unjust and ignorant.” (33/72)

Feeling valuable and having self confidence for taking risks and accepting challenges are essential dynamics for the human soul. They are also helpful for taking refuge in God and seeking His accordance and help, because who, other than the infinitely powerful One, can meet the needs of a creature that has unbounded appetites and passions!